Connoisseur
by PANDA Qiao
Summary: Tenten & Neji. 'I do have standards. They may be low, but they're still there.' No, Neji. It's not a good idea to confess your love when Tenten's drunk. Nejiten oneshot. Crackfic.


Hihi! I wrote this Nejiten fic two days after my first NejiTen fic, so, this makes it my second XD.

This just sort of popped into my head when I was thinking about what girls the Naruto boys would go for :)

**connoisseur** (kon-ah-SUR) — 1. A person with expert knowledge or training, especially in the fine arts. 2. a person of informed and discriminating taste.

I hope you enjoy!

So I present to you; _**Connoisseur.**_

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><p>'Hey, Neji?'<p>

'…'

'Why haven't you got a girlfriend yet?'

'….'

'It's because you're gay, isn't it?'

'…hn.'

The Weapons' Mistress and her training partner, Neji Hyuuga, were ambling down the wide, dirt-filled path lined with series of shops. They had attended Sakura's seventeenth birthday party earlier that day before Tenten decided to leave and call it quits. Neji, being the gentleman he was, had offered to walk her home.

Although he was seriously starting to regret it.

'Aha! Ok, so you're not gay!'

'No.'

A few awkward moments passed as the two cringed at Neji's love life.

'Let's girlfriend hunt.'

'…I beg your pardon?'

'Let's hunt you a girlfriend.'

'…When?'

'Now.'

'…Where?'

'Here.'

'…With who?

'Me.'

A thin, flawless eyebrow was raised at an over-enthusiastic and slightly…intoxicated Tenten?

'Tenten, how much did you drink?'

'…Maybe one or two-'

'Glasses?'

'No, litres.'

'…Hn.'

The Hyuuga glanced down at the drunk and very wasted Tenten, relishing her every detail. She had worn her hair down tonight, flowing right down her back in gentle waves. Next was her outfit; her pale skin complimented the snow white cocktail gown which hugged her curves in all the right places.

'Her!'

Neji reluctantly looked over at the direction Tenten's manicured finger was pointing at. A young, tall woman could be seen on the other side of the path. Sure, she was pretty alright. Blonde hair pinned up into a messy bun, healthy tanned skin with a promising complexion. But she didn't have the long, brown hair Neji was looking for.

'No.' was the immediate reply from the Hyuuga.

Tenten gave a small pout and a crease of her groomed eyebrows before focusing back onto the path again. Sure enough a minute later, Tenten had spotted another candidate.

'Her!'

Neji 's eyes followed Tenten's, planting themselves onto a middle-aged woman. This time, Neji raised _his_ groomed eyebrows at her. Firstly, she was…unyouthful. Very very unyouthful. Secondly, she lacked the big brown eyes he was looking for.

'No.'

The kunoichi sighed at the prodigy, dragging her heels (very, very high heels) across the dirt creating deep, hollow imprints. Once again, she focused her eyes on the journey in front of her. This time, she took her time inspecting the possible women as she passed them, looking them up and down from their hair to their shoes. It took Tenten good half-hour of their journey before she found a possibility again.

'Her!' Tenten squealed, this time hoping for a positive reaction from the ice cube.

Neji, once again, studied the woman Tenten had chosen for him. _No different from the first two _he thought. Same ordinary looks, style and complexion. She lacked the tomboy charm he was looking for.

'No.'

'But Nejiii! Why not? I'm sure those girls would love to date you!'

'No.'

'Fine! How about….her-'

'I said no, Tenten.'

Tenten glared at the boy to her left with piercing dark eyes.

'Why are you so ungrateful!'

He stopped in his tracks, having arrived at Tenten's front door. Turning to face Tenten properly, he looked her straight in the eyes.

'I do have standards, you know. They may be low, but they're still there.'

Tenten couldn't help but show curiosity. 'What kind of standards, then?' Shifting from one foot to the other, she waited impatiently for his answer.

'First of all, she has to have long brown hair…' he started.

'Mmhmm…carry on…' Tenten urged.

'…second, she must have large, brown, doe-eyes…'

'….right….'

'Thirdly, she has to be a stubborn tomboy…'

'Yeah…' Tenten was listening intently, clinging onto his every word.

'And…and…finally…she…' his confidence subsided as he was telling her his last and final standard in a girl.

'And finally what? What else?'

Neji glanced down at the dirt uneasily. 'Finally, she…'

'She what?'

'She…has to have the name…

…Tenten.'

The prodigy hastily looked up at the kunoichi, waiting for her initial reaction. It was a good five minutes before he got any signs of movement from her. Her brows furrowed for a second as she chewed on her glossed lips. Locking eyes with Neji, she gave an exasperated sigh.

'Jesus Christ, Neji! You say you're standards are low, but boy are they high! Where the hell can we find someone named 'Tenten'?

Neji sweat dropped. Big time.

'And 'doe-like eyes'? WTF! Why don't you just date an actual doe? Oh Neji, you're not into beastiality, ARE YOU!'

Neji massaged his temples, reducing the amount of annoyance that he was experiencing right now. This was NOT the reaction he was hoping for.

'And long, brown hair? I mean, seriousl-'

Tenten was cut off by something warm and delicate being pressed onto her lips. So quick and light she wasn't even sure if it was real. By the time she opened her _doe-like eyes_ and brushed away her _long brown hair_, Neji was already half-way down the street, his tall silhouette getting smaller and smaller.

_Tenten_ growled at the retreating figure.

'Douche bag,' she snarled, like a _stubborn tomboy._

**Fin.**

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><p>Hehe, I had a lot of fun writing that XD<p>

I've got an really important exam tomorrow but instead of revising last minute, I'm spending my precious time of fanfiction ;)

Just for you guys! :D

Hope you liked it, R & R please!


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